As Pain Subsides

Ainul and me was practising the scene of our play Aaron Shepard's "Mouse Deer and Tiger", Ainul as Tiger was stung by wasps, I was the human sound of wasps buzzing all over Tiger.

It was a painful moment throughout my life as a TESL student at this matured age, even greater pain than being stung by wasps (Really? I meant physical pain actually). Producing the play is one thing, performing in it is another. But as the the play ended and we heard a loud clap from Puan Juridah, it was a joyous moment that all pain was immediately gone!

This is to say also, one of my favourite photographs... the pain has subside.. will be gone when I am through with writing up the research paper this coming Sunday (hopefully). Until then, I need to rest for a while to make way for the preparation of final examination, 1 - 3 April 2005. Then, light out! Phew!

A Cup of Tea, Anyone?

What is other better way to unwind than to enjoy a play being performed, later sipping a freshly brewed cup of tea? Uma's group performing a 1902 William Butler Yeats' "Cathleen ni Houlihan".

Wow! How nice to be doing nothing and at the end of the day rest for a while. I can hardly wait to really complete my research paper and sleep all day.

The Smiles of Success

Puan Juridah Md Rashid, our lecturer for the course EDU 3202 Theatre in TESL, her smile, acknowledging our successness in producing and performing our first ever theatre. The accomplishment of this task last 12 March 2005 indeed brings huge relief to me for then only am I able to fully give my heart and soul in writing up my position and research papers. Though I have done a lot of researching and reading for my position and research papers but well I guess I worry too much of having to produce a play and worse even to act in it.

Anyway, that is the very reason I have Kathleen Norris at the upper right hand of my blog:
"Life is easier to take than you'd think; all that is necessary is to accept the impossible, do without the indispensable and bear the intolerable".

Oh, this pink batik blouse I am wearing is temporarily my Saturday official batik dress to make way for the green effect forest of the green batik. Ha, ha, ha, I was only joking.

Stage Manager: Being Experienced

Che Rosli, the officer in charge of the Lecture Rooms commented our stage is too bared to give a forestry effect especially with Tiger in it. My husband, my son and me overnight we became very experienced “forest” scavengers, bringing the "dead" to "live" 12 hours before the performance. Even the ants came along with us through the journey from where we stay in Bandar Tun Hussien Onn, Cheras to the Lecture Room No. 2.9.

Stage Manager: Helping Hand Experience

The stage looked better as Yatinma brought in some of her plants all the way from her house in Serdang to the Lecture Room No. 2.9 in her loyal Kancil. How true the saying is, two heads are better than one, especially of great mind. Ha, ha, ha, never mind a praise to yourself is not a praise at all, it boost our self-esteem.

By the way, notice the green batik cloth? That is supposed to be sewn as my official batik dress which is compulsory to be worn every working Saturday, a government ruling. I have not got one just yet.

Stage Manager: 1st Experience

This is what our stage looked like at our first hand experience as Stage Manager towards the performance of Aaron Shepard's "Mouse Deer and Tiger".

The Amateur Theatre-Goers

Gabriel of "Little Violet and The Angel" smiling with Yatinma, Ainul and me sharing our triumph at being first ever theatre-goers (second for me actually, after "Rhinoceros"). I gained a lot of skills and knowledge in understanding the work of playwrights through these experiences of viewing life performances.

"SPS", "R' and "R": Writing For Its Own Sake

There are three types of thesis statements that I know in which one should decide on before proceeding to express one’s main ideas before writing on; analytical thesis statements, expository thesis statements and argumentative thesis statements. The kind of thesis statements that one’s paper will have will depend on the purpose of one’s writing. For position paper then I am supposed to be applying the argumentative thesis statements and for research paper the analytical thesis statements. I have chosen “Sir Patrick Spence” for my position paper, which I have completed (quite late) while “Rhinoceros” and “RUR” for my research paper, which is still under construction. Hopefully I will be able to submit my research paper the latest next Tuesday.

“Sir Patrick Spence” by Anonymous was one of the poems being questioned in the final examination of paper EDU 3216 Teaching the Language of Poetry. Walking back memory lane, I remembered very well as we came out from the examination hall many of us were sighing of the questions set for this particular poem. Somehow or rather this poem managed to win my heart prior to the examination and it was a great relief for me that day.

I guess I am more of expository organisation when I wrote my position paper which I titled it “Sir Patrick Spence as a Tragic Hero”. It is based on my reading and analysing the character of Sir Patrick Spence a well-known sailor who was sent to sea at a very dangerous time of the year by his King. Anyway as argumentative thesis statement, I had made my claim very clear with reasons and evidences supporting it and carefully organised it in the order suitable to present my reasons and evidences.

Excluding BB1 2417 Public Speaking’s assignments (I numbered them assignment 16, 17, 18 and 19, which is on speech presentations and debate on 9 April 2005) the research paper will be the final assignment (assignment 15 of 19 assignments) I need to complete within this weekend. Anyway you can only predict things after they have happened. And at this point of moment anything can happen to my research paper for things can be unpredictable at times. Who knows I might be writing entirely different work of literature. Then I have every reason for the extensive reading, capitalising at a timely nudge.

Taking the advice of the experts:

As for my writing process, I generally follow the advice I give newer writers - try not to polish up front. You have worked yourself to death. Keep going, keep going. If it's poorly written, too bad. Keep going. When you have an end, you've got something whole. Then rewrite, rewrite. Polished incomplete things wear you out. -- Alice Childress

I enjoyed the time I was writing. It was a fun, creative time. No one expected anything from me. I wasn't being strategic in any way. I wasn't trying to set up myself as a writer. I wasn't trying to leverage into a new career. I just wanted to write for its own sake. -- Margaret Edson

Truthfulness in Life

It is very typical of me to be reading exhaustively as well as making myself in full understanding before I can really begin to station myself to be pouring out my words, emerging on the screen as I typed them. It is so like of me as in one of the quotes that I have posted in this blog “Quotes That Ease Me”, Edward Albee’s, “I have just to feel like writing. I’m not one of these people who go to the desk every single day and writes. I wait until my head gets filled with stuff and I have to get it out of my head.” For that matter, I really am not the type who will be blinking, looking at each other, of the screen, with nothing to say on it. It will then be a real waste of time. I would rather be in a thinking mode so comfortable to my physical and mental tiredness (of having to complete 19 assignments) rather than be up straight straining my vertebrate.

And it took a timely nudge, skills and knowledge for me to be creative and critical in my writing. I wrote about Aristotle tragic hero in my blog “Man is Born to Live” which elaborates the essential qualities of the tragic hero; “goodness”, “appropriateness”, “lifelike” and “consistency”. I was inspired by Zaini to include a poem for this particular course EDU 3234 Reading and Project Work for Teaching Literature in ESL Contexts when I was trapped in an unexpected situation of having “Rhinoceros” to be presented both in my position and research papers, which is not allowed. As time is really not in my favour, pouring my heart out of my anxiety to Zaini gave me a better composure in overcoming my trying moment. The famous medieval ballad “Sir Patrick Spence” by Anonymous to me is very rich in becoming a source in the Teaching Literature in ESL classroom particularly in highlighting the essence of obedience to authority regardless of the nature of obedient. Hence I choose to portray the character of Sir Patrick Spence as Aristotle tragic hero with the four essential qualities above.

I am the reader of this ballad, I response based on my schemata, participating the convention of literature readers thus effectively bringing myself to another level of understanding critically. Whether then I am right or wrong, for the better or poor marks, it has now become immaterial. The most important part, as I submitted the assignment this morning, though quite late, I knew I have gain new skill, new knowledge, and new ways of looking at a literature work. I am breathing a fresh air of confidence about literature now. I know I am true to myself. I am indeed satisfied of my position paper taking the style of expository organisation in my writing.

Reaching The End of Road and Road Not Taken

This semester has been a very demanding semester in terms of the assignments that need to be completed by the end of this March, which is two weeks away. All in there are 19 assignments that each and everyone have to work on, of which 7 are group assignments. Frankly speaking I dreaded group assignment for reasons that time management would not come easy and it can be emotionally daunting. As human I can handle the mental and physical stress but not very well in handling my emotion when come to accomplishing the group work.

And for those reasons of this semester’s assignments for the first time, I enjoy very much of the literature courses that I am taking particularly this one EDU 3234 Reading and Project Work for Teaching Literature in ESL Contexts. I am autonomous of my researching with ease of communication of my findings, discussing them via telephone or sms with my friends, the way I like it done- self paced, self-directed, self-learning. I can do a lot of reading as time suits me which I always enjoy very much, getting myself very good understanding of what I should know and learn.

Since last Sunday after I managed to accomplish assignments 10 and 11 then submitting them to PPL, I began mentally planning to write on my position and research papers. I realised quite late that I am not supposed to write of the same work for position and research papers. I was planning to write on “Rhinoceros” for my position paper. And I knew very well I enjoyed racing my mind between “Rhinoceros” and “RUR” as I read “RUR” last week.

Speaking to Zaini over the phone yesterday however inspired me in a very motivating manner. Zaini is one very hardworking friend I have ever known throughout my life. Here I am going through poems that I enjoyed reading for the course EDU 3216 Teaching the Language of Poetry; “Sir Patrick Spein” (I love this poem), Robert Frost’s “Mending Walls”, “Desert Places”, “The Road Not Taken”, "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening", Robert Browning’s “My Last Duchess” and Matthew Arnold’s “Dover Beach” to name a few.

Well, to finalise I might be writing my research paper on “Rhinoceros” and “RUR” while my position paper on one of the poems that I have already analysed of the previous Semester.

Rhino Stampede, Robots Rebel

As I read “RUR” the other night the magic of my mind visualized the play as if life on stage as I had viewed “Rhinoceros”. I remembered very well the sound of rhinoceros played to mark the existence of rhinoceros stampeding all over the stage. This time around the robots revolutionise against their human creator, the ratio of human to robot being 1:1000!

I could agree no better than Berenger for not wanting to conform and becomes a rhinoceros for human is superior than animal as proof in “RUR” when robots become so intelligent that they rebel against human, be so human that they eradicate the human from the face of the earth.

In “Rhinoceros” the human defy the super force that created them and become so inhuman, whilst in “RUR” the robots defy the human creator and become so human.

Fancy that, stumbling into something that I would never dream of researching had it not been for this assignment. And just as I am into the momentum of finalising this research I have to stop for the massive packing, moving office to Putrajaya next week, drenched my energy towards the end of the day.

It's Never Too Late

I have just finished reading "RUR" that stayed me awake till the wee hour of the morning. Helena and Domin resemblance the couple Berenger and Daisy in "Rhinoceros". Both couples are facing conflict of human transformation, in "RUR" robots into human while in "Rhinoceros" human into rhinoceros.

Distance Learning...At the End of Journey?

Five years ago, the strong message that surfaced from the sessions that made up the three-day 7th SEAMEO INNOTECH International Conference that I attended from 6 to 8 December 2000 in Manila, Philippines had me scouting for places to further my study immediately as I came back. This was my first ever-international conference that I was given the opportunity to attend by my division, Malaysian Examination Syndicates where I am currently attached.

Dubbed “Knowledge Networking in the World of Learning,” the conference brought together some 400 educators from 18 countries to share experiences and insights on the interplay of knowledge and technology where education is pervaded by the new and changing tools of information and communication.

I was very impressed as well as highly motivated during the opening ceremony when Philippine Senate Education Committee Chairperson Teresa Aquino Oreta in her keynote address spoke of her plans to modernize basic education through a series of information technology projects in Philippines. Senator Oreta sponsored the raining of school officials on instructional leadership and educational applications of technology.

The clearest focus of a majority of conference presentations was electronic learning in its various forms. Among others are Michael Churton, Director of Distance Learning, of the University of South Florida, focusing on the implications for human resource development of new distance learning technologies, Sean Loiselle of Lotus Asia discussing how knowledge management is changing the way we find and share knowledge, learn from it and apply it in everyday lives and John Mulhern of the University of South Carolina laying down standards for continuing teacher education which cover context, process, content and evaluation.

Today, with those educational applications of technology I am able at the comfort of my office when time permits me out of my official duty to browse the Internet in continuing my education, searching in a never-ending story in the borderless world of knowledge. At the end of the day, as said by Mahatma Gandhi, quoted by Amalina the girl who scored 17 A1’s in her SPM result, satisfaction is not in the achievement but the process towards achieving it. That is the beautiful part of my life as a distance learning student, a life long learning that I heard first time from Michael Churton. It is not the marks that mattered me the most now but the process of forever acquiring new knowledge, new skills, experiencing the good, the bad and the ugly throughout.

And the last three days for the last 36 hours, at the tips of my fingers I searched the world not only for the course EDU 3234 Reading and Project Work for Teaching Literature in ESL Contexts but also for BB1 2417 Public Speaking and EDU 3230 Content-Based Second Language Instruction.

Where do I begin this journey? And will there be an end to a journey of educating oneself?

From Human to Rhino and Now Robot Wants Its Soul

So much I have read and experience of “Rhinoceros” for the last few weeks, the beautiful part was the greatest opportunity of viewing the play last 8 December 2005. Here I am can’t be getting enough of my time exploring deeper and deeper into “RUR”.

It surprised me that this Czech playwright Karel Capek from the Czech word for “forced labor” or “serf” coined the term robot. Capek used the word Robot in “RUR” which opened in Prague in January 1921, which was exactly 40 years before I was even born. “RUR” is a play in which robots are mass-produced by an Englishman, Rossum. The robots in the very beginning are meant to make a better life for human beings but finally rebel and wipe out humanity and start a new race of intelligent life for them.

The evidence in similarity between “Rhinoceros” and “RUR” is that both are transformation into another entity of the origin they exist, from human to beast in “Rhinoceros” and from machine to human in “RUR”.

This is quite an achievement for me considering the fact it was only yesterday I stumbled into “RUR” and for the last few hours researching further on it. And as for “The Adding Machine”, I am still trying to figure out how best I can map the three great work of literature together, one of absurdism, the other expressionistic and this one a sci-fiction.

Adding On to "RUR".

Though yesterday I made a point not to look further for information on “RUR” or “Bury the Dead” but curiosity gets much of its way over me today. Lo behold “RUR: Rossum’s Universal Robots” is much too interesting to be ignored, to be compared to “The Adding Machine” and I can leave “Rhinoceros” to its original reason, coming out with the position paper. The author name is not Katel Capel as written in Brandeis Adult Learning Institute’s Course Descriptions, its Karel Capek, the most important Czech writer of the first half of the 20th century, the co-inventor of the word robot, a novelist, playwright, journalist and translator.

I guess I am getting my flow now, my optimal experience as Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s “Flow Theory”, a Russian psychologist who won the Thinker of the Year Award in 2000. He is chiefly renowned as the architect of the notion of flow in creativity whereby people enter a flow state when they are fully absorbed in activity during which they lose their sense of time and have feelings of great satisfaction. Mr. Csikszentmihalyi describes flow as "being completely involved in an activity for its own sake. The ego falls away. Time flies. Every action, movement, and thought follows inevitably from the previous one, like playing jazz. Your whole being is involved, and you're using your skills to the utmost.” On the rare occassions that it happens, we feel a sense of exhilaration, a deep sense of enjoyment that is long cherished and that becomes a landmark in memory for what life should be like.

By the way, I was introduced to Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi by my former Assistant Director Head of the unit where I work, Mr Shahril bin Mohd Kharib who is now one of the Director at Special Education Department, Ministry of Education.

I Found Not Only Merton...

I spent the entire morning searching for Thomas Merton and it was very interesting activities of skimming and scanning plus hyper speed-reading of him and his work. I kind of enjoy myself to the fullest in such limit ness of time, reading through his work and getting to know him. Such complexity in gaining the ability to see God, Merton an Englishmen became a Communist, then a Catholic, later a Trappist monk and finally A Zen Buddhist before he died.

There is four other literary works that I can compare “Rhinoceros” with namely Elmer Rice’s “The Adding Machine”, Katel Capek’s “RUR”, Archibald Macleish’s “JB” and Irwin Shaw’s “Bury the Dead”. “JB” is too serious for me but I like “The Adding Machine”. I haven’t explore “RUR” and “Bury the Dead”. May be I would not due to the time constraint.

A Course Descriptions for Timeless Issues in Drama of Brandeis University’s Brandeis Adult Learning Institute Bali selected five plays to be studied that shared a common theme: societal changes or pressures that impact on humanity.

“The Adding Machine” deals with the replacement of an employee by a machine.

“RUR” introduces robots that take over the men who created them.

“Rhinoceros” reflects the “herd instinct”.

“JB” based on the story of Job raises the issues of evil forces beyond the control of righteous man.

“Bury the Dead’ an anti-war play, concerns soldiers who refuse to be buried.

This is quite a load for me to begin with after “Rhinoceros”. I need to get a copy of “The Adding Machine”. And more caffeine…

Catching up with Time

What a great relief as we sang the song “I’m quick and smart as I can be, Try and try but you can’t catch me” that marked the end of the theatre performance for the assignment EDU 3202 Theatre in TESL, evaluated by Puan Juridah Md Rashid last Saturday on 12 March 2005. "Mouse Deer and Tiger" adapted from Aaron Shepard’s Reader's Theatre "The Adventures of Mouse Deer" was a great success for the four of us considering the limited time we had to produce the play as it should be produced in the real theatre convention. At the end of the performance I was glad that all the research done not only for EDU 3202 Theatre in TESL but also for Dr Edwin’s EDU 3234 Research and Project Work for Teaching Literature in ESL Context has been very useful towards the production of the one act play we had performed.

Yesterday I re-embarked on Dr Edwin’s assigned tasks of which I had chosen “Rhinoceros” by Eugene Ionesco. I guess the position paper would be easier in compared to the research paper by the fact that I have yet to research another work of literature to compare “Rhiconeros” with. As I went through all the information I had compiled for the past few months I came across Thomas Merton who wrote “The Rain” inspired by “Rhinoceros”. Well, that would be a good beginning for me this week, to research on Thomas Merton. Who is he?